Coping with Stress as a Neurodivergent Mom

As a neurodivergent mom, stress can feel constant. The demands of parenting, coupled with the challenges of navigating a world that wasn’t designed for neurodivergent brains, can leave you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and burned out. But there are ways to cope with stress that can help you feel more grounded.

First it is important to be able to recognize when you feel stressed. This might include recognizing physical symptoms such as a racing heart or tightness in your chest, as well as emotional symptoms such as irritability or anxiety.  If identifying your emotion feels challenging, notice your breath. Is it calm or rapid? Noticing your breath can be a wonderful guide to help recognize the increase or decrease of stress. Once you have identified that you are stressed, we can take steps to manage it.

One strategy is to practice mindfulness. This involves focusing on the present moment without judgement. If you feel a judgmental part jumping in and interrupting, gently ask it for a little space and attempt to focus on the calm once again (there might be many interruptions, acknowledge them and attempt to refocus).  A mindfulness practice can look like a full meditation practice, or it can be as simple as taking a few breaths and focusing on the sensation of the breath as it enters and leaves the body. For parents, it can be challenging to find time, space, and energy for this skill. Maybe it has been a long time since you have prioritized yourself and your needs. Find the space, make the time even if it is just a few focused breaths during a shower or before your child wakes up. Another option could be to include your child into the practice. Modeling this skill could be incredibly effective and creates time for your own focused breath. This might look like sitting on the grass and taking 3 breaths together or doing a big belly breath together before you tuck them into bed.

Many neurodivergent people can be heavily impacted by sensory stimuli in their environment. As a mom this could look like crying babies, feeling over touched, sticky floors, loud kid parties etc. Parenting is a highly stimulating task; the stimulation may change but it will likely remain for many years. Learning skills to decrease overstimulation can increase your ability to cope and allow for more enjoyment. Some skills to soothe your sensory system could include rocking, dancing, a tight hug, a weighted blanket, a cold treat, hot tea, singing or humming or even just some sound softening headphones/earplugs (make sure you can still hear the kids!)

It is also important to have a support system in place. This might be a therapist, a support group or a trusted friend or family member who can listen and offer support when you are overwhelmed.

Stress and lack of sleep (two common culprits of parenting) not only decrease our ability to cope with big emotions (your own or your child’s) it also impacts your executive skills. Executive skills include your ability to start and complete a task, organize, or plan, manage time, sustain attention etc. areas in which may already be an area of struggle (and are often required for parenting!)

By practicing mindfulness, learning skills to decrease sensory overwhelm and leaning on your support system, you can learn to cope with stress and find more balance in your life. I am here to help you explore your neurodivergence and what that means for you in your role as a parent. Contact me to schedule a free 15-minute consultation. Let me help you find your smile again.

Written by Lauren Perez, LMFT